Why rewards beat nagging, and where the line is
Small, visible rewards move responsibility where it belongs. Here's what works, and what stops working.
Most people have tried both: reminding about the same chore five times, and promising something nice if it gets done. The first wears everyone out. The second works, but only if it's set up right.
Nagging moves responsibility the wrong way
When an adult keeps the overview, it's the adult who owns the chore. The child does it on request, and learns that chores appear when someone says so.
What a visible list actually does
Three things, and they hang together:
- the chore becomes concrete instead of a reminder
- whoever does it sees that it counts
- you stop negotiating over what's been done
Points aren't two currencies
The points a child earns for a chore are exactly what they spend when they buy something in the Hamster House. There's no exchange and no rate. That makes it easy to explain: do this, and you can buy that.
Where the line is
Rewards stop working when they become payment for everything. Keep them for what's genuinely dull, and let the rest be ordinary taking part in a home.
#Kids 3–8 #Motivation